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Electile dysfunction

“Melanie Phillips”, the long-running British satire on pig-ignorant, swivel-eyed, paranoid, bellicose and vicious Yahooism, outdoes “herself” on this historic day on which a historical change in history itself has been happened by ourselves, the needy we changed.

Howls “Melanie”, “her” last hold on grammar burned away by the pyroclastic slime of “her” own gibbering hatred:

[T]he enemies of America, freedom and the west will certainly be rejoicing today. […] Obama has said in terms that he thinks the US constitution is flawed. America’s belief in itself as defending individual liberty, truth and justice on behalf of the free world will now be expiated instead as its original sin. Those who have for the past eight years worked to bring down the America that defends and protects life and liberty are today ecstatic. They have stormed the very citadel on Pennsylvania Avenue itself.

Millions of Americans remain lion-hearted, decent, rational and sturdy. They find themselves today abandoned, horrified, deeply apprehensive for the future of their country and the free world. No longer the land of the free and the home of the brave; they must now look elsewhere.

Sturdy ?

  1. 1  Dan G  November 5, 2008, 10:04 pm 

    Sarah Palin is kinda sturdy, in a sexy way.

  2. 2  Gregor  November 5, 2008, 10:13 pm 


  3. 3  Steven  November 5, 2008, 10:25 pm 

    God bless America.

  4. 4  That’s nice « Thing of words  November 6, 2008, 1:35 am 

    […] [Via Unspeak] […]

  5. 5  RobWeaver  November 6, 2008, 4:53 am 

    No longer the land of the free and the home of the brave; they must now look elsewhere.

    What a tease – “she” doesn’t even say where.

    Western Australia? That was popular with a certain type of white South African, post-Mandela.

  6. 6  Gregor  November 6, 2008, 10:00 am 

    ‘No longer the land of the free and the home of the brave; they must now look elsewhere.’
    What a tease – “she” doesn’t even say where.’

    I was wondering that as well. Given that America’s aversion to progressive taxation and human rights organisations made them a beacon of hope to Daily Mail journalists, I am curious to know which Western country will become their homeland.

    And now that the East coast elite is in charge of Washington, does that mean that Richard Littlejohn will leave his gated mansion in Florida?

    Still, I wonder if using words like ‘brave’ and ‘lion hearted’ to describe walking to voting booth and voting Republican is unspeak? Or is it just stupid?

    I wonder if our Daily Mail friends watched their comrade Bill O’reilly interviewing Obama.

    O’reilly interestingly points out that (drumroll please) the French (yes, the ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’) are America’s main allies in Afghanistan!

    As for Obama, he reminds me a bit of that Black Books episode with the impossibly charming Jason Hamilton. Any sane person would be pleased to see McCain lose the election: if I was American I would definitely vote Obama for cultural and economic reasons. It is great that they’ve elected an African American and someone who is also refreshingly articulate and sensible. But I felt cynical about Obama’s foreign policy statements, which are often patronising and ignorant. So, whilst I tried to sneer through his acceptance speech, I couldn’t help my eyes misting up. gah.

  7. 7  Graham Giblin  November 6, 2008, 10:55 am 

    Oi! Robweaver, stop suggesting Australia for that type of American, okay? We’ve just seen off enough of our own. Seeing this Melanoma Phillips extract I wondered what America’s own spoof madwoman, Ann Coulter, had had to say. There she was on Fox News with Neil Cavuto (bring me a bucket) saying, predictably, that Obama was going to be “an utter failure and humiliation”, calling him an ultra-left-winger and socialist. She has posted a comment on her website also-too©SPalin complaining bitterly about McCain and everyone who voted for him and praising culture warrior, Palin, too-also©SPalin as the new messiah of the Republicans (cf. Peter Beinart in the WaPo Palin’s brand is culture war, and in America today culture war no longer sells. The struggle that began in the 1960s … may be ending. Palin is the end of the line.”) Such fun!
    By the way, norm at has the cover of the Hamburger Morgenpost:
    “Bye, bye Bush! Das Ende Des Irrsinns”.
    Which I suppose means, “the end of the madness”. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

  8. 8  Neil  November 6, 2008, 1:49 pm 

    The sheer gaul of “Phillips” in claiming that Obama denigrates the constitution, after the flagrant disregard the Bush administration showed for it, is breathtaking.

  9. 9  Ap  November 6, 2008, 6:16 pm 

    maybe she meant “turdy”

  10. 10  Alex Higgins  November 6, 2008, 9:25 pm 

    Obama has said in terms that he thinks the US constitution is flawed.

    Not sure what “in terms” actually means. I do however, know that the flaw in the US constitution that Obama was referring to, and which Melanie does not refer to, was the bit valuing black people as three fifths of a white person.

    Yes, Obama said that slavery was a flaw – perhaps the gentlest ever description of it by someone who didn’t own a cotton plantation.

    Melanie’s dispute here is not with Obama but with Abraham Lincoln and the Union Army.

    A sudden fear for the Constitution from someone who has been delighted to have watched the Bush administration use it as toilet paper for eight years is pathetic enough.

    But combined with contempt for the 14th amendment, the argument moves from disgusting hypocrisy to a failed intellectual circus act.

  11. 11  KB Player  November 6, 2008, 9:55 pm 

    “Palin told Washington radio station WMAL Friday she is concerned that her First Amendment rights could be endangered by what she called “attacks by the mainstream media” in response to her political attacks on the Democratic presidential nominee…”If (the media) convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations,” she said, “then I don’t know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media.”

    Thank whoever [the American voting public, come to think of it – credit where it’s due] that we didn’t get that particular interpreter of the Constitution in the Vice P role.

  12. 12  Steven  November 6, 2008, 10:16 pm 

    Apparently, Palin thought that Africa was a single country.

  13. 13  Alex Higgins  November 7, 2008, 1:09 am 

    “Apparently, Palin thought that Africa was a single country.”

    I enjoyed Bill O’Reilly explaining to the FOX reporter who mentioned this that it didn’t matter since Palin could always have got a little tutoring when she arrived in the White House.

    It’s not necessary for the US to have an ideas for policies relating to Africa apparently, just to know that it has countries in it. I am curious for his explanation of what the point of trying to support a political candidate is if they have to be taught virtually everything by people who at least know something.

    But not very curious. More rhetorically, really.

    Remember the days when the Right used to complain about “dumbing down” in culture and education?

    Those days sucked hard, but still…

  14. 14  Another Steve  November 7, 2008, 4:44 pm 

    I wonder how long McCain will live for. If he snuffs it in mid-2009, for example, it’ll show just how horrifically wrong the Palin pick was & how right the voters’ decision was.

  15. 15  ejh  November 7, 2008, 8:01 pm 

    Apparently, Palin thought that Africa was a single country.

    There’s a great old story about the old football manager, the notoriously racist Gordon Lee, on a pre-season tour of Morocco. A journalist amused himself by asking “well, Gordon, how do you like Africa?” to which Lee replied “Africa? We’re not in bloody Africa are we?”

    To be fair Palin was running for Vice-Presidency of the United States and Gordon Lee was only manager of Everton. (Though I know people who will argue that the latter is the more challenging task.)

  16. 16  Porlock Junior  November 8, 2008, 11:56 am 

    There’s a particular oddity, since I don’t want to say “irony”, in the Africa bit. Because Bush actually did some good in Africa: despite our cynicism when he announced a program against AIDS in Africa, he came through. Right, a mere 15 billion bucks pales next to what he’s spending murdering the Middle East; but the program truly is a positive and has gained him credit in Africa. How remarkably unsurprising that his proposed Republican successor (modulo a little recurrence of cancer) knows nohting of all this.

    But as to three-fifths of a person: Gimme a break! Will no one ever learn that the problem with that blot on the Constitution is that the number is not too small, but too big by 60 points? It’s not as if slaves got only three-fifths of a fucking vote! Rather, each slave earned an additional three-fifths of a citizen’s worth of power for the slave holders: the citizens of the slave states got that much extra representation in the House of Representatives and in the Electoral College based on the non-citizens they held in bondage. Need one say that the effects of this rule on US history were ghastly? And, sorry about this, the effects on the entire world have been more than negligible.

    I don’t know what Obama said about the matter, but I suppose that that professor of constitutional law understands it.

  17. 17  Graham Giblin  November 8, 2008, 1:40 pm 

    I’m not so sure Bush really “came through” on AIDS in Africa. His program was based on abstinence, wasn’t it?. According to a Guardian article from 2005

    A senior United Nations official has accused President George Bush of “doing damage to Africa” by cutting funding for condoms, a move which may jeopardise the successful fight against HIV/Aids in Uganda.
    Stephen Lewis, the UN secretary general’s special envoy for HIV/Aids in Africa, said US cuts in funding for condoms and an emphasis on promoting abstinence had contributed to a shortage of condoms in Uganda…

  18. 18  John Fallhammer  November 9, 2008, 5:17 pm 

    To be even more fair to Gordon Lee, it’s not unreasonable to draw a distinction between the north coast regions – culturally, ethnically and climatically closer to Europe and the Middle East – and sub-Saharan Africa proper. I’m sure that’s the point he was trying to make.

    As for “sturdy”, I think it really comes as part of a package with “yeoman”. This might make the former CILF a member of a “sturdy yeowomanry”. Or not.

  19. 19  Alec  November 9, 2008, 6:58 pm 

    What really stands out for me is the adjective ‘Lion-hearted’-which harks back not to the enlightenment and the framers of the US constitution, as to the middle ages via Tolkien, when the kings were lion-hearted and the yeomanry were sturdy.

    Porlock Junior-good call on the actual significance of the 3/5 compromise.

  20. 20  capella  November 10, 2008, 1:08 am 

    “Apparently, Palin thought that Africa was a single country.”
    Not true. Just another example of MSM Palin bashing which you misogynisitic arrogant fools swallow whole.
    If Al Capone himself had been elected Presdident you would be celebrating an historic victory for the Italian American community. Obama is a Chicago hood. It’s amazing what you can buy for a billion dollars. If anyone is “dumbed down” it’s the deluded “progessive” left who really believe that a Chi Town pol backed by millions of corporate dollars is somehow a “change” candidate. Melanie is an idiot. But that doesn’t make Obama an intellectual and moral giant. Your conclusions are based on faulty premises.

  21. 21  hey zeus  November 10, 2008, 3:57 am 

    capella- someone as stupid as you makes me look pretty smart.
    Your accusations are based on faulty upbringing.
    You’re on the UNSPEAK forum which analyses the manipulations of carefully constructed language sometimes identifiably designed to fool the reader.
    Therefore i suggest you reread the previous comments, check your hastily constructed spelling and grammar and then, for the love of god, man, read a book. or be an hero. Critics of Palin are no more misogynists than critics of Obama are white-power good ol’ boys terrified a muslim just got elected president. am i right?

  22. 22  ejh  November 10, 2008, 11:27 am 

    Actually, maybe Gordon Lee had seen Casablanca, since in that film they famously sing La Marsellaise. Presumably he therefore thought he was in France.

  23. 23  Guano  November 10, 2008, 3:35 pm 

    Meanwhile Melanie’s creator, Paul Dacre, is making a speech to other newspaper editors about freedom of the press.I’m struck by his use of the word “morality” which seems to be doing a lot of unpaid overtime.

  24. 24  capella  November 10, 2008, 3:59 pm 

    Hey Zeus – check your own spelling and grammar.
    But you’re right, I should not have referred to commenters as “arrogant fools”. I was referring to the many ad hominem responses to the Melanie Phillips opinions quoted above. Her use of the word “Sturdy” is possibly intended to make an emotional appeal to Loyalist sympathies similar to the frequent reference in NI to STAUNCH Protestants but DEVOUT Catholics.
    BTW the “flaw” in the constitution to which Obama has referred is the fact that it merely specifies civil rights and does nothing to promote affirmative action; a flaw he will no doubt correct.

  25. 25  richard  November 10, 2008, 4:24 pm 

    Given “Melanie’s” well-known position vis a vis Islam, I don’t see how ‘Lion-hearted’ can be anything other than a reference to the Crusades.

  26. 26  hey zeus  November 10, 2008, 5:22 pm 

    ok, i was hasty. can you hear the beeps? i’m backing down, and anyway my grammar died of the consumption so how does THAT make you feel.
    yeah thought so.

  27. 27  Alex Higgins  November 10, 2008, 10:30 pm 

    “If Al Capone himself had been elected Presdident you would be celebrating…”

    Your right to be taken seriously is in jeopardy. And that was the second sentence.

    But assuming the Obama/Capone comparison is an ill-judged attempt at humour, and not just your average racist trolling, let us return to your factual claim:

    Not true. Just another example of MSM Palin bashing which you misogynisitic arrogant fools swallow whole.

    Er, the claim about Palin and Africa comes from McCain staffers, as reported to FOX News’ Carl Cameron, a friend of George Bush’s and accepted as fact on that station by Bill O’Reilly in the process of defending Palin.

    But by all means, continue to share your wrongness with others.

  28. 28  Alex Higgins  November 10, 2008, 10:31 pm 

    “Porlock Junior-good call on the actual significance of the 3/5 compromise.”

    Yeah, thanks, that was interesting. I hadn’t understood it properly.

  29. 29  capella  November 11, 2008, 2:30 am 

    “the claim about Palin and Africa comes from McCain staffers, as reported to FOX News’ Carl Cameron, a friend of George Bush’s and accepted as fact on that station by Bill O’Reilly”
    Oh well, it must be true then.

  30. 30  RobWeaver  November 11, 2008, 4:14 am 

    Alec and Alex, if you’re further interested, the Blumrosens’ Slave Nation is a comprehensive account of the horse-trading over the slavery issue involved in the drafting of the Declaration, Constitution and other founding documents of the US republic. The issue influenced everything from the setting up of equal representation for the states in the Senate to the wrangling over what to say about property rights that ended with Jefferson choosing the odd phrase “pursuit of happiness” for the Declaration. The Blumrosen account suggests that protecting the institution of slavery was the real issue that led to the War of Independence. Quite fascinating.

    About the only real problem I have with our host’s book is the line about the three-fifths rule, but fixing the historical error would totally stuff it as a set-up for the Clarence Thomas gag that follows.

  31. 31  Alex Higgins  November 11, 2008, 7:28 pm 

    “Oh well, it must be true then.”

    Point missed.

    You: “example of MSM Palin bashing”

    Reality: Claim originated from multiple sources on McCain’s staff, distributed by FOX reporter who repeatedly praised Palin during campaign.

    Maybe it’s not true. They report, you decide, right? But they’re the ones you want to take your complaint to.

  32. 32  Alex Higgins  November 11, 2008, 7:34 pm 

    Thanks, Rob, I may well get round to following up that recommendation.

  33. 33  Gregor  November 12, 2008, 9:04 pm 

    Oddly, giving that Mel implies that human rights organisations critical of Israel are anti-semitic, she has some very unpleasant things to say about American Jewish Democrats (approximately 77% of American Jewish voters). They are apparently far from being ‘sturdy’, ‘rational’, ‘decent’ and ‘lion hearted’ WASPS:

    ‘For the overwhelmingly Democrat-supporting American Jews, voting for a Republican is as unthinkable as eating a ham sandwich on Yom Kippur. Indeed, a number of them would rather eat a ham sandwich on Yom Kippur, because their conviction that religion is bunk and has nothing to do with being Jewish comes second only to their conviction that Republicans are the acme of evil.’

    And I thought ‘acme’ was something from MGM cartoons. OK, I copied this from another website, but I trust them that Mel said this. Maybe there is someone who really does fabricate ‘Melanie Phillips’ quotes. But why risk breaching intellectual property rights? It will only make you look unimaginative by comparison.

    Whilst I’m not Jewish I am part of a faith with fasting rules and… am I the only one to see something a bit odd about the idea (if I understand ‘Melanie’) that what you put in your mouth is more important than democracy… you know the thing that Mel is so keen on the Arabs adopting so that they can develop secular societies?

  34. 34  Porlock Junior  November 13, 2008, 3:20 am 

    What you put in your mouth? Funny, I hear rumors of an upstart sect the founder of which said, in his own words (in his own antiquated version of 17-century English),
    “Not that which goeth into the
    mouth defileth a man; but that which
    cometh out of the mouth, this
    defileth a man.”

    I don’t know whether this “Melanie” creation is supposed to be Jewish or what; if so, this is hardly relevant. But it’s an interesting point of view, no?

  35. 35  capella  November 13, 2008, 6:13 pm 

    “Reality: Claim originated from multiple sources on McCain’s staff, distributed by FOX reporter who repeatedly praised Palin during campaign.”
    Not true. Suggest you check NY Times article “A Fake Expert Named Martin Eisenstadt and a Phony Think Tank Fool Bloggers”.Claim originated as a hoax.

    BTW “sturdy” reappears in recent Will Hutton article in the New Statesman – Here Come the Liberals:
    “British politicians, commentators and the public like to believe in their sturdy autonomy. We have arrived at our decisions as freeborn men and women. We debate our ideas furiously in pubs, on radio phone-ins or via letters to the editor. We read the opinion pages. We elect a sovereign parliament that passes the laws and regulations that we mandate.”

  36. 36  Alex Higgins  November 13, 2008, 11:10 pm 

    “Not true. Suggest you check NY Times article “A Fake Expert Named Martin Eisenstadt and a Phony Think Tank Fool Bloggers”.Claim originated as a hoax.”

    No, it is true, and there is further irony at your expense.

    The creators of the Eisenstadt hoax have denied being Carl Cameron’s source. Their stunt was not to invent rumours about Palin but to pretend to be the originators of the claim:

    “To be very clear, no, we were not the source for Carl Cameron and never spoke to him,” Mirvish tells TVNewser. “We took credit for his anonymous sourcing. If they were going to be cowards, then we figured we may as well step in.”

    To repeat, FOX’s Carl Cameron and the McCain campaign are the origins of the claim that Palin didn’t know what Africa was.

    The despised MSM which you now cite in your defence, however exposed the Eisenstadt scam.

  37. 37  capella  November 13, 2008, 11:49 pm 

    Alex – had you scrolled further through your source (TVNewser I suppose though you omit the reference) you would have found that Eisenstadt IS Cameron’s source.

    You seem to have a lot invested in the conclusion that Sarah Palin doesn’t know that Africa is a continent whilst at the same time being indifferent to the evidence.
    Incidentally – it was not the MSM who “outed” Mr Eisenstadt but “William K. Wolfrum, a blogger who has played Javert to Eisenstadt’s Valjean, tracking the hoaxster across cyberspace and repeatedly debunking his claims. Mr. Gorlin and Mr. Mirvish praised his tenacity, adding that the news media could learn something from him”.

  38. 38  Alex Higgins  November 14, 2008, 12:16 am 

    Capella, Governor Palin may well be an expert on Africa as far as I know, though I doubt it. I don’t have much investment in further discrediting a defeated and unpopular vice presidential candidate. OK, so I do a bit.

    And I’ve used up some snark to smack down your trolling which always risks back-firing.

    But my point stands.

    The article I cited (sorry, link didn’t work – Google it) contained a straight denial from the creators of Eisenstadt that they were Cameron’s source. It was a later post than the one you linked to (by a few hours) which then stated only that the hoaxers had previously pretended to be a source.

    Cameron – a Republican, friend of Bush and a hack who praised Palin throughout the campaign – was citing McCain staff members. Not the mysoginistic Palin-bashing MSM you came on here to accuse.

    If I were you, I wouldn’t expend too much time defending Palin’s knowledge of Africa, but whatever makes you happy.

  39. 39  capella  November 14, 2008, 12:52 am 

    “Governor Palin may well be an expert on Africa as far as I know”
    you betcha!

  40. 40  Alex Higgins  November 14, 2008, 12:59 am 

    Palin’s own, original defence was that her remarks were taken out of context:

    “So, no, I think that if there are allegations based on questions or comments that I made in debate prep about Nafta, and about the continent versus the country when we talk about Africa there, then those were taken out of context. And that’s cruel and it’s mean-spirited, it’s immature, it’s unprofessional, and those guys are jerks, if they came away with it taking things out of context and then tried to spread something on national news. It is not fair and not right.”

    (My emphasis – the what versus the what?)

    If only her remarks could be put back in context, what a great worng would be righted.

  41. 41  Steven  November 29, 2008, 12:22 am 

    I’m sorry I missed this entertaining ding-dong. Hello again, readers!

    Btw the line about three-fifths was changed in the paperback edition of Unspeak. Whether it was actually corrected is a different matter…

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