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Sea kittens

Rebranding animals, PETA’s way

Fish: “sea kittens”.

Wasps: flying kittens!

Aliens with two sets of jaws that burst out through your stomach: space kittens!

  1. 1  Hey Zeus  January 14, 2009, 9:42 pm 

    ticks = forest kittens

  2. 2  dsquared  January 14, 2009, 11:03 pm 

    Human Immunodeficiency Kittens.

  3. 3  Homer Simpson  January 15, 2009, 3:09 am 

    Mmmmm… kittens.

  4. 4  Tom  January 15, 2009, 11:51 am 

    I have just stumbled on the theory that PETA is the hippy answer to Anne Coulter, but I’m going to sleep before anyone asks if I can back that up with words.

  5. 5  Alex  January 15, 2009, 11:57 am 

    My cat had a load of Land Sea-Kittens.

  6. 6  Matt  January 15, 2009, 2:52 pm 

    This “sea-kittens” nonsense has already received much scorn amongst my fellow divers and marine welfare-worriers. The “creatives” at PETA are self-deluded if they think the fleets of purse-seiners and spotter craft are going to beat their harpoons into knitting needles and re-configure their advanced sonar to play ‘pong’ as a result of this patronising pap.

    Although conversely, this could encourage more macho cookery by forcing us to think about gutting “sea-kittens” before scaling them and cutting their heads off.

    *gets coat*

  7. 7  sw  January 15, 2009, 3:58 pm 


    Tom – wake up! Smell the coffee! You’re on to something. There are certain figures/organizations affiliated with the “left” or the “right” whose tactics and whose ideas do not strictly match or appeal to most of those on “their side”, but whose main purpose seems to be to annoy those on the other side. If you’d read my private e-mails or the reams of unpublished political philosophy stored on my hard-drive in files like “About Karl Schmitt” or “XXX Bare Naked Life”, you’d know that I’ve long argued that Coulter serves a very useful purpose for the Foxkittens: it’s not just that she says things that they’re too scared to say, but that they can huddle behind her and laugh as their liberal enemies turn various shades of puce – leaving them in the enviable position of infuriating their enemies while disavowing responsibility for the act of aggression.

  8. 8  redpesto  January 15, 2009, 6:14 pm 

    Sharks: Sealions!

    Oh, hang on…

    Spiders: Webkittens!

    Nope…sounds like a too-cute URL…

    Chameleons: Psychedelikittens!

    No, too hippy…

    Bees: Honeykittens!

    Sounds too like a porn star

    Duck-billed playtpus: WTF?kitt– – Oh, I give up…

  9. 9  hey zeus  January 15, 2009, 7:02 pm 

    athletes foot = skin kittens

  10. 10  Violetta  January 15, 2009, 8:20 pm 

    What amazed me about the sea-kittens site was the difference in skill level between those who did the graphics and those who wrote the gosh-awful text. And the fact that nobody mentioned the whole cats now being cannibals aspect.
    I blogged about it a while back and had to ration myself to a limited number of criticisms, the whole thing’s so beautifully pointless.

  11. 11  hey zeus  January 15, 2009, 9:36 pm 

    bogeys = nose kittens

  12. 12  Tom  January 15, 2009, 9:44 pm 

    @sw: Yes, you’ve said the words I would have said if I had not been hampered by being asleep. Thank you for completing my post! Wow man, this crowdsourcing lark is so twenty-first century.

  13. 13  hey zeus  January 16, 2009, 7:25 am 

    pussycat dolls = porn kittens?

  14. 14  redpesto  January 16, 2009, 9:50 am 

    Cluster bombs: Freedomkittens!

  15. 15  Steven  January 16, 2009, 11:04 am 

  16. 16  hardindr  January 16, 2009, 2:29 pm 

    Wow. It really isn’t necessary to try and parody PETA anymore, is it? They do it themselves!

  17. 17  richard  January 17, 2009, 4:32 am 

    Cancers = emergent kittens?

    I wonder if they went through “sea Bambis” and “sea bunnies” before realising that both of those were traditional food animals. It’s probably best not to alert them to this, or this.

    That said, trying to impose a moratorium on commercial fishing has some merit, but consumer boycotting seems like a hard way to get there: fish has been promoted for so long now as the healthiest protein you can eat.

    I guess river and estuary kittens are still fair game.

  18. 18  richard  January 17, 2009, 4:38 am 

    I am genuinely sorry for this. I’ll understand if Steven bans me.

    cancers = mewtations.

  19. 19  Roger Migently  January 19, 2009, 12:12 pm 

    Stephen Colbert supports PETA and claims he will now begin eating “land fish”.

  20. 20  richard  January 19, 2009, 1:27 pm 

    “land fish” reminds me of the cognitive dissonance I felt the first time I heard the jingle: Ask any mermaid you happen to see/What’s the best tuna? Chicken of the Sea.

  21. 21  Steven  January 19, 2009, 1:43 pm 

    I imagine kitten tastes a bit like chicken.

  22. 22  hey zeus  January 19, 2009, 7:15 pm 

    kitten tikka masala?

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