Debarking
Quiet, please
February 3, 2010 15 comments
As the Irish ask: why keep a dog and bark yourself? Well, one reason might be that you have had your dog debarked. Debarking in this context has nothing to do with stripping the epidermis from trees or getting off a ship. As the New York Times explains, it is rather a gruesome bit of unspeak for a surgical procedure in which a dog’s vocal cords are cut. The dog is not merely having its bark removed, but a part of its anatomy deliberately maimed, so as to appease complaining neighbours. (Debarking is thus substantially more euphemistic than the poultry industry’s debeaking.) Dog owners who submit their pets to a debarking are quoted by the NYT as insisting that their dogs are no less happy afterwards, which rather makes one wonder why this “humane” procedure could not also be applied with profit to certain humans.
Terry Albert, of Poway, Calif., said her life revolved around dogs: she boards them, rescues them, and even paints portraits of them. And she refuses to give them up. She has had two dogs debarked. “You may think it’s horrible,” she said. “But if I had to give up my dog or get the surgery, I would choose the surgery.”
Brave Ms Albert, choosing the surgery, is scheduled to have her vocal cords cut by a surgeon next Wednesday morning. Meanwhile, would it not be to Britain’s enormous benefit if we were also to volunteer George Osborne for a debarking, thus pacifying those millions of citizens whose lives are made a misery by his near-constant outbursts of wheedlingly aggressive and meaningless noise?
No less happy afterwards. That’s dogs for you. They can even lose a leg and they’re no less happy afterwards. Dog leg – delicious, nutritious and surely an opportunity for job creation in the food and marketing industries, in this time of recession
de-barked really is quite insidious, and almost magical in that the process takes the dog’s bark away. I imagine somewhere there is a bark storage facility underground…
Whereas in the cat-owner’s world you have de-clawing, which is at least physically true, as opposed to “de-scratching”, which doesn’t seem to have made it into common use outside of CD repairs…
As a side note, co-op boards can’t actually force dog owners to surgically debark their dogs, don antibarking collars, or even get special training.
http://www.brickunderground.co.....arking_dog
While they can in theory force out the dog and/or its owner on the ground of nuisance, New York’s housing courts have become increasingly supportive of pet rights over recent years.
http://www.brickunderground.co.....o_the_dogs
Bets on how soon Osborne goes after May’s anointing? Of course Cameron can’t ditch him now, it would look too worrisomely like a ballsup. But it’s been clear for a while that commentators were mistaken to treat him and Cameron as coequal at the time of the leadership election: while Osborne’s talent is all too deniable — how would he cope without his armbands and his stablisers? — Cameron’s is not.
*stabilisers
I thought ‘debeaking’ refered to removing the last remaining traces of respect for the judiciary from ones character.
There’s a reference further down the piece to “devocalisation surgery”; not sure whether that’s more or less unspeaky.
A bit less, I think, since at least surgery is admitted.
Hi- Since you quoted me, i thought I’d toss in my two cents here. I think the debarking war will continue for quite awhile. I am not in favor of going around debarking dogs just for the sake of it, but I would prefer to debark a dog rather than have it euthanized in a shelter. I have yet to find a pet owner who can effectively teach their dog to be quiet. So if the dog’s life is on the line, yes I am in favor of it.
“Brave Ms Albert, choosing the surgery, is scheduled to have her vocal cords cut by a surgeon next Wednesday morning.”
Not quite- As you see I am still speaking…
Glad to hear it!
This puzzles me. How exactly does the situation arise where the only two options are to cut a dog’s vocal cords or to kill it?
Perhaps a consultation with the dog whisperer would help?
Well, another option is to get rid of the dog, but who’s to say the next owner will be able to deal with it? Sometimes our friend the Dog Whisperer makes solving problems look easy. Not always so– say you live in an apartment, go to work every day and your dog howls all day long. Cesar would say, “give him more exercise.” I agree. Teach him to be alone for short periods, then make it longer. Great idea. What if none of this works? Drug the dog? Shock collars? There are options, but it also takes weeks to break a habit and develop new desirable behaviors. A lot of owners give up too soon. And meanwhile the neighbors are complaining.
P.S. I see you linked to Malcolm Gladwell’s article. I love Malcolm Gladwell’s books. “What the Dog Saw” also has a great story on pit bulls.
Oh right, so cutting a dog’s vocal cords or killing it are not the only two options. Glad to have that confirmed.
The dog might want to take his chances on that score if the current owner would otherwise cut his vocal cords or kill him.
Don’t keep a dog, then. You don’t have a right to keep a dog and maim it for your own and others’ convenience.
Isn’t this the whole purpose of spay/neuter? We humans maim animals because we don’t agree with another animal’s reproductive capabilities. Seems hypocritical that one potentially “life-saving” maiming procedure is generally accepted but another is not.
I agree!