An interview without coffee
It’s bean rough
March 22, 2010 4 comments
Annals of military discipline:
[T]he soldier was given “an interview without coffee” (ie a bollocking) for his trouble. ((Private Eye, no. 1258 (19 March), p6.))
Quite. Is there anything that isn’t transformed into an intimidating and unpleasant version of itself by the enforced absence of coffee?
A coffee waterboarding? I mean, some people have coffee enemas at the other end, and I guess a coffee waterboarding would be particularly gruesome for a Mormon detainee (and I’m sure someone in the CIA has planned for that contingency).
For that matter, if the alternative to the coffee is ‘nothing’, I’d rather have a coffeeless enema too …
I know someone who gives herself cold coffee enemas, but I can’t decide if this practice would be worse with or without the cold coffee.
We can probably agree at least that it would be worse if the coffee were piping hot?
Yes. What you’d have there is colonic incineration.
A warm mild herbal tea might not be so bad. But I’m really not tempted.